How to Thoroughly Clean the Toilet

1. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water
and put both lids up.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him
towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in toilet and close
both lids. (You may have to stand on the lid.) The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. (Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.)

4. Flush the toilet three or four times. (This provides a
"power-wash" and "rinse".)

5. Have someone open the door to the outside. Be sure that
there are no people between the toilet and outside door.

6. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly
lift both lids.

7. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside
where he will dry himself off.

8. Both the commode and the cat will now be sparkling clean!

Sincerely,
THE DOG

A "Golden Age" couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner
together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."

"Oh Yes," she says, "I remember it well."

"Well," he says, "How about taking a stroll back there again and we can do it one more time for old time's sake."

"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a wonderful
idea," she answers.

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all
this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see this. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble."
So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers.

She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the
watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping
like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhh, Henry!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old
couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, "that was truly amazing, the old fellow was going l ike a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is."

As the couple pass, he says to them, "That was something
else. You must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

I'm back, lol, I know everyone missed me.

Well this past weekend I was in Tampa at tone of the weirdest wedding I have ever been in or attended, lol. I had a good time and met a girl I wish I could have gotten to know better cause we clickedand had alot in common. I'm going to try to keep intouch with her and see if anything comes from it but dont know. she is older buy like a month or 2, lol, single, hasent been in a relationship in a while like me and belive it or not we truly danced the night away at the wedding reception plus even acted like kids and went trick or treating the night before, lol, I havent had that much fun in a long time.

Well I have a new job but am still looking for another that way I can have some $$ to take care of things. Well I'm forking at a Carmike Theater, playing around with movies, lol, dosent that fit me. Well I get in for free to an movie i want as long as I'm not working .

Well I would go into loads more about what all happened at the wedding but I dont feel like writing a novel about it cause anything that could did go wrong, it was bad, lol.

Well I'm out,
Later Days